20 x 24 oil on canvas.
I started this the day after my father passed away. I considered earlier in the pandemic to work on a self-portrait as a form of record keeping for this surreal moment in my life. But after losing my dad I felt more of a push to work on it, mostly for catharsis. The year leading up to his death was a massive struggle, forcing me to confront my childhood with a standoffish father and looking to a future, aiding a myopic disabled man. As an adult I now understand and empathize why he was the way he was. I know that he loved each of his kids and towards the end he did his best to connect with us. When I look back on my life with my dad, I want to focus on finding that warmth in him and not regretting it took so long. This is a self-portrait of me, my father’s son.